The End Times? Not Again!

"The time is getting closer; I read it on a poster."
- - Alice Cooper.

There's nothing more self-destructive for a representative of one's religious faith to do than to declare a doomsday date. You may get temporary attention and fame, but when the end of the world inevitably doesn't come, you end up discredited and having turned more people against your cause. The kind of people who start these doomsday scenarios probably don't care, though, because they're almost always in it for their own publicity and not concerned about the reputation of the religious faith they've hijacked for their own ends.

Perfect example: last year these billboards started popping up all over the world, proclaiming that the Biblical judgment day will occur on May 21, 2011. These billboards aren't cheap - I think a billboard in Louisville runs between $2000 and $5000 a pop, depending on location and duration. Does the apocalypse really need an ad campaign?

A lot of these billboards are coming from someplace called Family Radio whose website "explains" why the Rapture is coming on May 21 by way of one of the most poorly-written and irrational treatises I've even seen. The date of 2011 is arrived at by piling arbitrary assumptions on top of bad math on top of mangled Biblical quotes on top of failure to realize that people in Biblical-era Jerusalem didn't observe the same calendar as we do.

Of a similar ilk is judgementday2011.com, who needs to learn to spell "judgment" before passing same.

It would be hilarious if it wasn't so dangerous. Every time some charismatic kook starts a "world's about to end" meme, there are always gullible people who quit their jobs, throw everything away, and put their lives in total disarray. Some have even committed suicide after the big day passes and Christ didn't show up.


"We Can Know" is another affiliated bunch who are buying billboards, and so is The Latter Rain, whose name suggests connection to the post-William Branham "Latter Rain" movement, including "Joel's Army" - which has been described by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a "rapidly growing apocalyptic movement" who believe they possess "a divine mandate to physically impose Christian "dominion" on non-believers".


Another related group is eBible Fellowship, who are especially proud of their billboards - so much so that their site is almost wholly devoted to bragging about the placement of the ads in most countries of the world. They even have an interactive map that lets you track the progress of their ad campaign. Um, that's nice, guys, but if it really is the end times, don't we really have more important things to do?


Apparently even though the Rapture is on May 21, the actual end of the world for the rest of us won't come until October 21. Okay. I need one of those giant foldout flowcharts that take up two walls in order to map out all the signs and seals and bowls and trumpets; it's all too complicated for me.

Like Ken Ham and his Creationist Museum, these doomsayers are far outside the fringe of mainstream Christianity, but at the same time apparently have a mysterious knack for fundraising. Imagine what these people could have accomplished to combat world problems like hunger and illiteracy, with the staggering amount of money they blew on this self-aggrandizing, masturbatory, mentally ill ad campaign.

Ásatrú

Ásatrú, also known sometimes as Odinism, has its basis in Germanic Neopaganism but sprouts tentacles off in many different directions with many different factions, many of whom don't always see eye-to-eye.

In very general terms, Asatru is a polytheistic faith, centered around worship of the ancient Norse Gods and Goddesses. Many of the names of these gods and goddesses remain part of our modern culture, such as in the days of the week: Wednesday is Woden's (Odin/Wotan's) Day, Thursday is Thor's Day, Friday is Freya's Day. Ásatrú - the true Ásatrú - is open to everyone, regardless of gender, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, language, sexual orientation, or any other divisive criteria.

The current leading Ásatrú organization seems to be Ásatrú Alliance, which succeeded something called the Asatru Free Assembly which was also succeeded by something else called the Asatru Folk Assembly. According to Wikipedia, the Asatru Alliance was founded by Michael J. Murray, the former Vice-President of something else yet again, called The Odinist Fellowship.

Confused? Me too. It's like trying to sort out a bucket of nightcrawlers. At night. Let's not even get into the more hardcore "Odinist" types like The Odin Brotherhood, The Odinic Rite, The Odinist Fellowship, Holy Nation of Odin, and Wotanism.

The problem with Asatru/Odinism is that it's too "open source" a concept - the danger with starting a religious organization that you can't maintain strict control over is that before you know it, all kinds of kooks are starting rogue versions of your religion, and using it for unsavory purposes that you didn't intend. And so we have people out there calling themselves Odin worshippers who couldn't be more different from one another, ranging from young left-wing hippie girls to ultra-right-wing shaven-headed nutcases. Still others are merely attracted to the swords and the costumes and the mead, and would probably be better off visiting a Rennaissance Fair than changing their religion.

Because of its anglo-centric nature, it has attracted both gentle Wiccans and psychotic "White Power" supremacists - neither of which, needless to say, want to have anything to do with each other. For the most part, the peaceful ones just want to be left alone, and it's the stupid skinheads with skulls tattooed on their necks who stir up trouble and give the larger body of Ásatrú a major PR liability.

It's enough to make an Ásatrú practitioner throw up their hands and say "to hell with it, I'm just going to go over here and start my own personal Scandinavian-flavored thing and stop using the names "Asatru" or "Odinist" entirely".

And many, in fact, are increasingly doing just that, preferring to keep it vague and unaffiliated, and just calling themselves "heathen" or "pre-Christian" and leaving it at that. Many keep their groups tightly-knit among a close circles of family and friends, and have moved past the idea of belonging to over-arching all-encompassing organizations where you end up side by side with people whose reasons for interest in all things Germanic may be more sinister than yours.

Kentucky has a local Ásatrú chapter located in Hazard, called the Kentucky Ásatrú Alliance. According to their website (which is currently offline for some reason):

"More and more people are moving away from universal religions that assert their path as the "one and only right way" for all humanity, and returing to the tribal paths of their own ancestors. These ancestral "folk ways" are after all, an expression of the totality of the people who developed [with] them as ways of understanding and expressing existence. Since much of our being (both physical and psychological) is passed on to us from our ancestors, their natural spirituality is surely the most compatible with our own instinctual being."

Another site of theirs, FrithNet, is still online but doesn't look to have been updated in over a year. And it in turn links to a worldwide Ásatrú auction site called FeeFum, which shows a little more activity, but not much, and the items being auctioned are predominantly jewelry. And yet another site, Samfelag, ostensibly for networking, also seems little-used.

Does this mean that the Ásatrú faith is in decline? No, far from it. I'd say it most likely means that the kind of people drawn to true Ásatrú would be the kind of people who don't spend a whole lot of time fiddling around on the internet - and for that, I say more power to 'em. Then again, they are on Facebook, which is unfortunate.)

Other Ásatrú organizations around the world seem to still exist - such as Asatru Alliance in Arizona, Asatru Folk Assembly (though their site still says 2008 at the bottom), The Troth in Connecticut, Irminsul Ættir in Washington state, and The Canadian Asatru Portal, who provide an exhaustive array of further Asatru links here.


Given that most seem to be sticklers for historical authenticity, something tells me they're not going to like the upcoming Thor movie, which bases itself on the highly off-model Marvel Comics version and takes it even further off-model.

Haunted Christian Science Church?

There's a ghost story that perenially makes the rounds of, well, those who pass along ghost stories, regarding a haunting on the steps of Louisville's magnificent First Church of Christ, Scientist at 1305 South Third Street.

As the legend goes, a woman in 1918 paced around the front steps of the church, which was the prearranged place where she was to meet her husband. When her husband, who was a soldier stationed at nearby Camp Taylor, never arrived, she took it as a sign that he no longer cared for her.

Okay. That's the first part, and there's something of a leap on logic, rather like a poorly-constructed plot, between that and the next bit: unbeknownst to the woman, her husband had actually died of Spanish Flu, and then she herself died of that very same disease a week later.

Furthermore, the story is sometimes embroidered with the factoid that the woman and her soldier boy were actually not married, and that they had made secret plans to elope to Chicago that very night. But if they were secret plans, and they both died, how did anyone know this and how did that info become part of the story?

And, of course, the tale has the inevitable punchline that even to this day, late at night when the moon is just right, you can sometimes see her ghost still pacing around the steps of the Christian Science church. Yada yada yada.

(I'm pretty sure David Dominé deals with the subject in great detail, and probably much more accurately than the specious and sketchy online accounts I've perused, but I've misplaced my copy. When I find it, and if better data is to be gleaned, I'll update this post.)

I wonder what the parishioners of the First Church of Christ Scientist must think about all this. Apparently some local "ghost tours" take people by the church so they can gawk and hear the hearsay and say "golly, Martha, sure am spooky."

I'm not exactly certain what the Christian Science position is regarding ghosts, but I do know they don't believe in Heaven per se, at least not in the conventionally understood manner. (On the other hand, the term "Holy Ghost" does appear in their writings often.) The faith's founder, Mary Baker Eddy, stated in her autobiography that from the age of eight, she began hearing disembodied voices.

Often confused with The Church of Scientology, the Christian Science religion was formed in February 1866, after Eddy had a severe fall which caused a major spinal injury. According to her own account, Eddy unexpectedly made a full recovery after reading Matthew 9:2. She subsequently claimed to have helped to heal others via Bible Study, and also to have taught others in the precise way to do it most effectively. By 1875, this belief system was fully formed and expressed in her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.

Today, Christian Science reading rooms can be found all over the world, and most people have come to look at their newspaper, the Christian Science Monitor, as one of the best sources of journalism available.

The Christian Scientist radio program can be heard every Sunday in Louisville at 8:00-8:30am on WAVG-AM 1450, and 9:00-9:30am on WKJK-AM 1080.

Mosques of Kentucky

Some of the most interesting buildings in America come from the tradition of Islamic Architecture, and Kentucky's no exception. Pictured above is the Masjid Al-Farooq in Prestonsburg, and below are further examples:


Islamic Center, Elizabethtown.


Muslim Community Center, Louisville.


Islamic Center, Somerset.


Islamic Center, Bowling Green.


Bosniak-American Islamic Center, Louisville. (A typical quaint country home, but with a Minaret!)

Goodbye, Lexington Mall

Lexington Mall was always troubled, since day one. Though they opened in 1971 with its anchor stores McAlpin's and Shoppers Choice supermarket, the developers went bankrupt before they could finish the actual indoor-mall part in the middle. It wasn't until 1975 that the place was finished.

The 1980s were good years, however. During the flavored popcorn craze, Lexington Mall's Karmelkorn shop was named the #1 sales-leader in the nation, according to Wikipedia. (Do they mean among Karmelkorn outlets? Or mall stores in general? They didn't specify or clarify.) The prestigious County Market replaced Consolidated as the mall's latest supermarket, and I can remember the huge local buzz of excitement at the time. This was about the same time as the Starbucks plan of world domination was really taking off, and as the private shopper's club Pace became popular. There was a feeling that all of us were really moving on up, and going upscale.

But by the booming years of the Clinton economy, we'd all gotten so upscale that we outgrew the Lexington Mall. The over-the-top Hamburg Pavilion sucked away Lexington Mall's rapidly dwindling customer base. Many more on the other side of town had already been lost to Fayette Mall, which reinvented itself with a massive makeover. Rather than renovating and expanding, Lexington Mall was devolving: County Market pulled out in 1995, Sony Theaters in 1997, and soon Dillard's was the sole remaining tenant. In 2005 they closed and the mall has sat empty ever since.

In an article called "City in the Dark as Saul Stonewalls", from the September 22, 2006 issue of Business Lexington, it was lamented that the mall's owners, a real-estate-hoarding group in Maryland called Saul Centers, were being obstinate and uncommunicative in Lexington's efforts to make them do something with their property that had become an eyesore and a waste of space. Unfortunately, it's a problem with shopping malls and shopping centers around the country - they're almost all owned by some guy in a faraway city who couldn't care less about the impact his decisions have on the cities in which his properties lay dormant.


There is new hope for the property today, although the light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming church. Southland Christian Church is moving in with big changes and big plans for everybody. Pastor Jon Weese has announced the timetable for turning the area into their new satellite campus: their goal is to complete their own new building in December 2012, and demolition of Lexington Mall will begin in May.

I checked the Southland Christian blog and it provided a fascinating glimpse into their mindset. One post suggests that their flock stop "holding onto stuff", and instead sell it to help the church. It says:

"From coffee to sports cars, people are realizing that a temporary sacrifice of convenience right now can make a substantial impact for the Kingdom for years to come!"

It also reprints a letter from one of the faithful that gleefully tells of how they're selling their new 2007 Corvette Convertible with only 2000 miles on it, so that they can give that money to the church to build this new building. The letter closes:

"We believe that being a part in the hands and feet of Jesus on Richmond Road are more satisfying than those 4 Corvette tires on the roads of Lexington!"

Well, they're certainly dedicated, I'll say that for them. And then this post from their blog gives helpful tips on how to cut back your lifestyle in order to better serve the church:

"Drink water instead of soda. Drink a tall black coffee instead of a venti latte. Or forego the overpriced coffee altogether and meet your friend at one of your homes. Buy a reusable bottle instead of buying case after case of bottled water. Get just a sandwich instead of a value meal at the drive-thru, I promise you won't starve to death. Rent a movie for $1 at RedBox instead of spending $9 at the theater."

(I don't mean to pick on these folks, but this is seriously the first time I think I've ever seen a church come right out and ask people to cut back on eating food in order to donate to said church.)

But nevertheless, I wish them well. Many people criticize megachurches for no other reason than that they are megachurches. Me, I applaud any entity that has the moxie to keep expanding and setting their sights higher and higher (much like the aforementioned Starbucks). Whether or not I fully agree with their agenda is irrelevant; I support them anyway out of respect for their ability to get things done. Those who dislike them are free to get something bigger done themselves.

I just wish they hadn't chosen such a modernistic "big glass box" design for their new branch (see image above).

The Spontaneous Revivals of Asbury

Asbury College, located just south of Lexington in Wilmore, KY, was founded in 1890 as Kentucky Holiness College. Its founder, the Methodist evangelist John Wesley Hughes, said that God had directly instructed him to open a college where students and faculty were "always endeavoring to tear down the works of the Devil and to build up the Kingdom of God". (Years later though, in 1905, he was ousted from his own board of directors for unknown reasons.)

Asbury is famous for the "Spontaneous Revival of 1950" and the "Spontaneous Revival of 1970". According to Asbury's website, "In February 1950 a student testimony led to confessions, victories, and more testimonies. This went on uninterrupted for 118 hours and became the second leading news story nationwide; it is estimated that 50,000 people found a new experience in Christ as a result of this revival and witness teams that went out from it." And of the 1970 incident: "In February 1970 student confession and testimonies led to 144 hours of unbroken revival; some 2,000 witness teams went out from Wilmore to churches and at least 130 college campuses around the nation."

But actually, Asbury has had a long history of these "spontaneous" revivals, usually taking place in the month of February for some reason, and dating all the way back to 1905. From Asbury's website again:

In February 1905, during a blizzard, a prayer meeting in the men's dormitory spilled out to the rest of campus and the town of Wilmore.

In February 1908, revival broke out while someone prayed in chapel; the revival lasted two weeks and was signified by prevailing prayer and intercession.

In February 1921 the last service of a planned revival lasted until 6 am, and services were extended for three days.

Apparently the zeal around the school has fallen a bit lackluster in these space-age secular times. There have been only two "spontaneous revivals" at Asbury since 1970 - one in 1992 and one in 2006 that is described rather sketchily as "four days of continuous prayer and praise". I note this not to mock anyone, but to hopefully instill them to greater heights of religious fervor this February, and to urge them towards disseminating their beliefs on a grander scale as was done by their esteemed alumni in 1950 and 1970.

(On the other hand, in an anonymous Forerunner article credited to "Editorial Staff", the idea is proposed that the great Spontaneous Revival of 1950 never actually ended, and that we are still in the midst of its reverberations even today. An interesting and beautiful idea, but marred somewhat by its association with The Forerunner, known for hateful and tinfoil-hatted articles like "Islam and Mormonism: Kissin' Cousins". They also claim to know the true identity of the Beast of Revelation, but you have to buy their DVD to find it out.)

Also located in Wilmore is the Asbury Theological Seminary, which was originally part of Asbury College but has been a separate institution since 1931. This is an interdenominational graduate school of theology, whose graduates now serve in more than 80 denominations in over 57 countries around the world.

Both the College and the Seminary are named for Bishop Francis Asbury of the Methodist Episcopal Church (as is Asbury Park, NJ, made famous by Bruce Springsteen).

FBI Fugitive Dead in Kentucky

This morning I came across this story from WSAZ-TV in Arkansas, telling of an FBI fugitive from "an Arkansas cult" turning up dead in a rural home in Lawrence County.

John Erwin Kolbek has been the subject of a national manhunt by the FBI since 2008, facing charges of assaulting people - including women and children - while working for Tony Alamo Ministries. If you remember Rev. Alamo (pictured below with his wife Susan), he's currently serving 175 years in the slammer for various alleged atrocities committed at his compound near Texarkana. Alamo, known as prisoner #00305-112 around the Federal Correctional Institution in Terre Haute, Indiana, will be out of prison in 174 years. However, his ministry still carries on, more successful than ever - his message is still carried by radio stations around the world and the church has published an extensive series of rebuttals against Alamo's accusers.


Kolbek died of a heart attack shortly after his estranged wife placed a 911 call trying to get medical help for him under an assumed name. According to WSAZ, "John Kolbek died a short time later, but it wasn't until his body was taken in for an autopsy that authorities realized he was wanted by the FBI." Reports state that Kolbek had reached out to his wife from an undisclosed location in the Somerset area.

I'm curious about why Kolbek chose Lawrence County and Pulaski County, Kentucky as a place to hide out. Early speculation seems to be that he has not been in Kentucky very long, but no reasons are being given to support that thesis.

The incident is sure to stir up renewed interest in the Alamo case, which is still a bone of bitter contention for many who believe their ministry's founder was framed.

The Ham That Roared

The ongoing drama surrounding the coming Ark Encounters theme park just keeps getting kookier. The Courier-Journal is continuing its ongoing skeptical investigation of the full-scale ark replica project, and the controversial Answers in Genesis isn't taking it lying down.

I'd prefer if all parties would just leave our pal Ken Ham alone and let him schleprock on with his Flintstone self - as I've said before, I think people should be allowed and even encouraged to pursue their own private vision and their worldview, even if that vision is completely and utterly out of agreement with the rest of humankind.

It's just too easy to make fun of Ham and his lifelong dream of making Kentucky a Christian Creationist mecca; it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Let the man work. I'm actually really looking forward to the mind-meltingly surreal theme park becoming a reality - mark my words, it will be a road-tripping destination for seekers of Kentucky weirdness, just like his Creation Museum.

P.Z. Myers at Science Blogs takes a predictably snarky tack, referring to Mr. Ham as "the Squealing Piglet". Myers does, however, rightly point out Ham's pathological intolerance for being criticized or questioned. Ham, faced with a new Courier-Journal article in which experts debunk exaggerated claims of attendance, pulled the "more Kentuckian than thou" card and posted this on his Facebook:

"They just don't let up in their anti-Christian agenda driven vendetta against this phenomenal project. We are preparing a response that will be our lead article on the www.AnswersInGenesis.org website. As we are composing the rebuttal now, we'll take my blog item from Saturday and update and adapt it as our response to a newspaper that seems to want to have the Ark be built in another state -- and apparently doesn't care about the thousands of jobs and hundreds of millions of dollars that would end up elsewhere. Not very pro-Kentucky, is it, for a Kentucky paper?"

Even more worthy of letting one's head hit the desk, the Facebook comments Ham received range from the hilariously telling:

"This is why we quit reading newspapers"

To the embarrassingly bourgeois:

"You say this was a Louisville paper? Well there you go, they really aren't Kentuckians, they bleed red and not blue"

To the jaw-droppingly scary:

"This reporting comes from the father of lies...the deceiver...it is a project that brings God glory and is bound to be a target. Gear up...put on the full armor of God. The shield of faith is a very beautiful picture "painted" by the Apostle Paul. In the historical context of this "picture" the Roman shield was covered with leather then soaked in water...Paul says to take up the shield of faith to put out the flaming arrows of the enemy..."

Can't we all just get along?

Probably not, because Ham's latest volley against the "vendetta" only escalates the war of insults and innuendo:

"We believe, based on previous Ark-related comments made in the newspaper, that the Courier-Journal’s opposition to the Ark Encounter has everything to do with the religious content of the project and the editors’ dislike for something that wants to show that the Bible is true from the very first verse.

Given the track record of the Courier-Journal, our conclusion is that the paper’s editors are trying to discourage people from getting behind the project by employing scare tactics to try to move the Ark Encounter out of state...

Just as God blessed the Creation Museum amidst tremendous secularist opposition it received several years ago, we are confident He will also bless AiG’s latest effort to build yet another complex that will honor and defend His infallible Word."

*sits back, munches popcorn*

Want to lend a hand to help make our state a weirder place to live in, and help Ham build his ark? Click here! You can sponsor a piece of the ark - $100 for a peg, $1000 for a plank, and $5000 for a beam! You can also donate on the phone by calling toll-free 1-855-CTHEARK (1-855-284-3275).

Christian Country Cowboy Church

Whizzing down 146 in Oldham County this morning, a sign caught my eye that I'd never noticed before. Its words still echoed in my head as I drove on - "Cowboy Church". Did it really say that? Cowboy Church? Awesome.

I turned around immediately and went back.

The sign is at the top of a gravel road that branches out in several different directions, including a local American Legion hall and various buildings related to the Oldham County Fairgrounds. I didn't see any building that had a "Cowboy Church" sign on it, but I'm hoping it's this barn with horse murals painted on it.




When I got home, I Googled it. I found out that the CCCC is, like apparently everyone in the Universe except me, on Facebook. I also discovered that there's a huge nationwide network of these Cowboy Churches, which originated in Texas. According to Wikipedia:

"Cowboy churches are local Christian churches within the cowboy culture that are distinctively Western heritage in character. A typical cowboy church may meet in a rural setting in a barn, metal building, arena, sale barn, or old western building, have its own rodeo arena, and a country gospel band. Baptisms are generally done in a cattle tank. The sermons are usually short and simple. Some cowboy churches have covered arenas where rodeo events such as bull riding, team roping, ranch sorting, team penning and equestrian events are held on weeknights."

As a fan of anything rustic and retro in American culture, and especially anything that glorifies a frontier spirit in today's homogenous nutrasweet styrofoam culture, I wholeheartedly approve and endorse the Cowboy Church concept. Let me go put on my big purple Hawkshaw Hawkins outfit and I'll see you in church this Sunday.

William Branham

The great Kentucky psychic faith-healer William Branham died on this day, Christmas Eve, in 1965.

Branham was born in Burkesville, KY in 1909 to a Catholic family. As a young man, he began racking up an impressive career as a boxer, with fifteen wins on his record. He coulda been a contender, but something happened that caused him to abruptly change his life's trajectory in favor of the Baptist church. He hung up his boxing gloves, donned a suit, and began preaching the gospel in tent revivals.

Preaching was definitely Branham's calling - he was very charismatic, so much so that he quickly acquired his own church with swelling ranks of devotees. As his congregation grew, so did his messianic nature. On June 11, 1933, while baptizing people in the Ohio River between Louisville and Jeffersonville, he claimed that a bright light descended upon him and a disembodied angelic voice told him, "As John the Baptist was sent to forerun the first coming of Jesus Christ, so your message will forerun His second coming."

As the 20th century progressed, many other thinkers and gifted individuals (including fellow Kentuckian Edgar Cayce) began feeling their way from traditional theology toward what would later be known as "New Age" philosophies. Branham's beliefs went from Baptist to Pentecostal, then gradually became more and more apocalyptic and further out past the fringes of mainstream Christianity.


Branham claimed to be the literal reincarnation of the Biblical prophet Elijah, and that his past lives extended throughout history. Says Branham, he was with Moses at the Burning Bush and saw the parting of the Red Sea. I've always wondered if he ever listened to the folk song "I Was Born About 10,000 Years Ago". (I like the Elvis version best!)

Branham was also a major proponent of the controversial "serpent seed" doctrine, which held that the snake in the Garden of Eden was actually a reptilian humanoid who mated with Eve to produce Cain. The idea did not originate with Branham, however; it was once a relatively accepted idea in early Jewish Midrashic texts and in the obscure Rabbinical treatise Pirke De-Rabbi Eliezer (פרקי דרבי אליעזר).

Branham's grave is located in Jeffersonville, Indiana. Many of his followers are still active today.


Consult your copy of Weird Kentucky for more Branham revelations!

(Top image: Branham preaching. Middle image: the prophet Elijah, riding his flaming chariot across the sky. Bottom image: poster for a 1956 event with Branham. )

Creationist Theme Park

On Wednesday, Governor Steve Beshear held a press conference to cheerfully announce that Kentucky will soon have the dubious distinction of being home to "Ark Encounters", the world's largest Christian Creationist theme park. Stranger still, it may be done with partial state funding.

Is that legal? Not everyone is convinced that the arrangement doesn't violate Church-State separation issues. The Courier-Journal quoted Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, as saying he hasn't decided yet whether or not to sue. But they also quote prominent Kentucky atheist Edwin Kagin stating that he doesn’t think there's any grounds for a lawsuit.

And though I usually don't come down on the same side as Kagin (I don't have much kind things to say about atheism in general), for once, I agree with him. The loophole by which the theme park qualifies for state funding is through tax incentives, and even legal scholars who hate Creationism are grudgingly agreeing that the arrangement is legit.

Personally, I have no problem with the idea of the Ark Encounters park, even though I don't share their beliefs. Nowadays, religion seems to play a much smaller part in the average American's life, and the "separation of Church and State" routine is increasingly wielded as a kudgel against certain religions, and against the idea of religion itself. I say, let there be lavish theme parks for all religious beliefs, even obscure ones. Could be epic, if you think about it.

The park is being brought to you by a for-profit group called Ark Encounters LLC and a non-profit group called Answers in Genesis, the folks who brought you Kentucky's Creation Museum.

You may remember that I wrote about the Creation Museum in a somewhat irreverent style in Weird Kentucky, which prompted Ken Ham to fire back a rebuttal on his site, and also prompted an angry letter to me from one of his faithful. When writing the book, I had sources for each of the points that Mr. Ham takes umbrage to - not even including my firsthand experience - but that's not the point. I knew full well when I wrote it that it would be publicity for the Museum, and as Bela Lugosi said, "there's no such thing as bad publicity." Ham himself even acknowledges this:

Regardless — it is all still advertising! We have met a number of people who have come to the Creation Museum out of sheer curiosity because of hearing things like this—and we praise the Lord that they come! At least they will hear the gospel clearly presented.

And so I find myself in the odd position of supporting Mr. Ham and his enterprises, even though I disagree with the premise they're based on, and even though Mr. Ham himself doesn't seem to get that I'm actually trying to help him despite our differences. There are many religion-hating persons who seek to stop Creationists from spreading their message like this - I am not among them. Unlike arrogant atheists like Bill Maher, I wholeheartedly support what Mr. Ham is doing, even if I do find his Flintstones-esque message to be scientifically incorrect and scripturally unsound.

Ham & Co. probably don't welcome my support, however, since I just don't fall into lockstep with their dogma. Ham is at his most frightening when he says: "The issue we challenge people with concerns not undermining (thus rejecting) the absolute authority of God’s Word!" Ham's idea of God has much more important supporters on his side, anyway - like Gov. Beshear himself, who seems absolutely thrilled about all this. From Forbes:

Gov. Steve Beshear said he favors providing the tax incentives to encourage investors to move ahead with the Ark Encounter project that investors claim would create about 900 permanent jobs and have a $214 million economic impact in its first year of operation. The governor, who is seeking re-election next year, showed little patience with people who object to the project on religious grounds.

"The people of Kentucky didn't elect me governor to debate religion," Beshear said. "They elected me governor to create jobs. That's what we're doing here, and that's what we're going to continue to do."

The Fraternity Cult of Aqua Buddha

Larry David had a good rant on Curb Your Enthusiasm about people who say "Having Said That" in a context which allows them to state one thing and then use "Having Said That" to proceed to make a sharp turn and contradict themselves. "I hate all dogs. Having said that, I really love Rin Tin Tin."

Bear with me, here, then:

As I've often stated on these blogs, I have zero interest in terrestrial politics. I long ago gave up the rigged shell-game of believing that terms like "left", "right" "liberal", "conservative", "republican" and "democrat" have held any real meaning in my lifetime. Both political parties are controlled by the same hive-mind packs of superstitious and short-sighted men, and neither party even comes close to addressing the issues that I consider the most important ones facing humanity today. In the immortal words of William S. Burroughs, "Fuck 'em all, squares on both sides."

Also, whenever I post here about some "weird politics" story, it invariably touches off knee-jerk reactions from people who assume that if I make fun of something really stupid that Gov. Beshear does, then it logically must follow that I am a Republican. I most assuredly am not - I don't use Brand X or Brand Y.

So that's why I tend to avoid political posts altogether, especially during election years.

But having said that........

The recent revelations about Rand Paul's college days, printed in GQ Magazine, are just too wacky not to examine. The article claims that Paul belonged to a fraternity well known for its anti-Christian and anti-religious sentiment. As part of this frat's rituals, the article alleges, Paul took part in tying up a woman and forcing her to kneel in obeisance to a comical mock-god of theirs they called the Aqua Buddha.

That's pretty crazy stuff, if true. And when Jack Conway used this information for an attack ad of his own, Paul decried it as despicable, and reportedly called Conway a "liar." But since the source of the Aqua Buddha cult story comes from GQ, not Conway himself, I think Mr. Paul is a tad confused there. Nonetheless, Paul has since several all ties of civility with Conway after the ad aired, refusing to even shake hands with him in debates. Says Paul: "I will not shake hands with someone who attacks my religion and attacks my Christian beliefs."

Again, while I understand Paul's outrage, this response doesn't make logical sense. In no way has Conway attacked Christianity itself by calling attention to the GQ story. And that's my real beef with Paul in the end: he may have some good think-outside-the-box ideas, but he's a very poor communicator. And I distrust people who cannot communicate. In fact, I turn and run from them whenever possible.

(I suppose I should say something critical about Jack Conway here just to keep it from looking like this is strictly an attack on Rand Paul, but honestly, I don't know anything about the guy. He bores me. Like I said, I don't follow politics and couldn't care less. I will say that, in order to campaign against someone, if you have to reach all the way back to your opponent's school years to dig up dirt on them, then your campaign is obviously in deep, deep trouble.)

According to FOX News:

Conway's team made it crystal clear Thursday that their candidate would be at the forum, regardless. In an e-mailed statement to reporters, campaign spokesman John Collins said, "Attorney General Jack Conway will be at the debate - regardless of whether Rand Paul has the guts to answer basic questions about his own actions. Jack understands and will always stand up for the people of Kentucky. Rand should stop his huffing and puffing and start answering people's questions."

Yeah, yeah, whatever - I don't care about any of that. I just wanna know more about this Aqua Buddha cult! How did it work? Does it still exist? Do they have an official religious text? Membership dues? Why is it "Aqua"?

The fraternity in question, known as The NoZe Brotherhood was not a legitimate one. It was banned by Baylor University for its sacreligious and racist views espoused in their newsletter The Rope, but continued to operate anyway as a sort of pathetic poor man's secret society. According to a female student quoted in the GQ piece:

"He and Randy came to my house, they knocked on my door, and then they blindfolded me, tied me up, and put me in their car. They took me to their apartment and tried to force me to take bong hits. They'd been smoking pot." After the woman refused to smoke with them, Paul and his friend put her back in their car and drove to the countryside outside of Waco, where they stopped near a creek. "They told me their god was 'Aqua Buddha' and that I needed to bow down and worship him," the woman recalls. "They blindfolded me and made me bow down to 'Aqua Buddha' in the creek."

Is any of this relevant to the current campaign, though? Absolutely not. Rolling Stone magazine disagrees (but of course, they would):

The sneering, intellectually superior tone of Paul's society-brother newsletter is the one thing that to me seems still relevant to Paul's campaign. If you follow Paul enough and go to enough of his events, you won't be able to miss how much smarter he thinks he is than everyone else; he puts even Al Gore to shame in this department. If you ask him to explain some of his old comments, or something from his father's old libertarian newsletters, as I did, he's liable to roll his eyes at you. He apparently finds the whole answering questions and explaining himself thing very tiresome, and seems put out that he even has to bother with it en route to the Senate. If you read these NoZe articles, you might get an idea of where some of this comes from.

Maybe so, but that still doesn't make it relevant. If doing stupid things in college is enough to dash a professional/political future, then heck, we're all doomed. The NoZe frat may have been idiotic, but they're not half as cause for alarm to me as, say, the Skull and Bones Society, of which both President Bushes and John Kerry were members, and which has been accused of grave-robbing and borderline necrophilia.

If a man can be elected President of the United States after being a member of a group whose initiation ritual requires laying naked in a coffin and reciting one's deepest and darkest sexual fantasies to his fellow frat boys in a room filled with illegally-acquired human bones, I think we have more important things to worry about than Randy's goofy college past.

Abandoned Anchorage Church Update

Has it really been almost two years since we examined this abandoned church in Anchorage? It's abandoned no more; as promised by a commenter on that post, it's being totally renovated and it's looking great now.

Kentuckians Plan Alternative to Quran-burning

You've probably heard about this nutcase "Dove World Outreach" preacher in Florida who's announced "International Burn a Koran Day". (The Qu'ran (or Koran) is the holy scripture of Islam, which has at least 1.5 billion followers worldwide. There are numerous paths and factions within Islam, from the Sunni to the Shi'a to the Ahmadiyya to the Nation of Islam.)

His publicity stunt has managed to stir up millions of people into new heights of hatred against America, and even the President has urged him to reconsider, fearing his actions will incite violent reprisals and terrorist attacks. At press time, supposedly he's announced that he's changed his mind and is withdrawing his plans for the book-burning event. But of course, he probably well knows that a lot of the yahoos out there that he's inspired will go ahead and hold their local book-burnings anyway, whether he's in or out.

Here in Kentucky, fortunately, cooler heads are prevailing at Highland Baptist Church in Louisville. They're countering the book-burning with an "Honoring Sacred Texts" event, scheduled for 11:30 a.m. Saturday. The service is offered by Interfaith Paths to Peace, a Louisville organization that promotes religious freedom and tolerance.

Meanwhile, while the world is arguing endlessly over just how many blocks away from the site of the 9-11 attacks a Mosque should be allowed to stand, there's a new Mosque in Louisville. The Muslim Community Center on Westport Road is nearing completion and I'm pleased to say, there's been no outcry, no protests, no threats made.

The Dove World Outreach website is down as I write this, but the Google cache is viewable here. You can also find a Google cache of their charmingly simple-minded treatise "Ten Reasons To Burn A Koran" here.

Knob Creek Church of Christ

For our purposes here, the Knob Creek Church of Christ in Graves County has three key points of interest going for it:

For one, it's located in Dukedom, Kentucky, which I've always thought is one of the greatest Kentucky place names. It's not a word that comes up in casual conversation unless you're an ardent anglophile or you're singing Gene Chandler's "Duke of Earl". Only by calling it "Fiefdom" could the community's founder have made a wackier move.

The church is historically important for being the first Restoration Movement church to use the name "Church of Christ" (even though Barton W. Stone's church is sometimes miscredited with this honor.)

But what's truly noteworthy to me about this place is the fact that the building itself literally straddles the KY-TN state border, and the dividing line runs between the pulpit and the pews. Therefore, the minister is delivering his sermons in Kentucky but his congregation is in Tennessee!

Edgar Cayce

There have been many self-proclaimed psychics over the last century, but none so interesting as Kentucky's Edgar Cayce, the "sleeping prophet" from Beverly, KY just outside of Hopkinsville. Totally lacking the razzle-dazzle showmanship of your garden-variety professional psychics (which almost always turn out to be frauds), Cayce was a very reluctant psychic - once word got around about his powers, they had to practically drag him kicking and screaming into using them.

There were indicators early on that Cayce had the psychic "shining" gift as a child, and he gradually became famous in adulthood for his ability to go into hypnotic trance states. During these, he essentially browsed the so-called "Akashic Records" and spouted remedies for diseases and solutions for problems. He became so in demand for these readings, that by the end of his life, he was giving eight readings a day and his appointment book was full for two years in advance. Unlike other psychics and spiritualists who gave vague, open-ended, non-specific advice, Cayce channeled accurate recipes for home-remedy treatments that worked. But because of his strict upbringing in the Disciples of Christ church, he had great misgivings and anxiety about whether what he was doing was sacreligious. But as long as his channeled cures worked, he reckoned he must be doing the Lord's work by helping people, despite the unusual methodology.


As the years passed, however, Cayce gradually began to accept more and more of the "New Age" (though no one called it that back then) concepts associated with his trance readings, to the point where he went the other direction off the deep end, some assert. He began to embrace Egyptian mysticism, astral projection, communication with the dead, aura reading, reincarnation, karma, astrology, and channeled wisdom from a supernatural civilization on the lost continent of Atlantis. These super-Atlanteans, he proclaimed, also populated ancient Egypt and pre-Columbian America. He began to espouse a radical reinterpretation of Christianity that alienated many of his original devotees, much in the same manner as the Kentucky faith healer William Branham was doing contemporaneously.

Cayce also began to speak of a cosmic conspiracy regarding an evil interdimensional secret society called the "Sons of Belial", who supposedly turned Earth's prehistoric early hominids into slaves. Cayce claimed that in a past life, he helped the forces of goodness free the apes from the aliens. He also claimed that he had once been an Egyptian priest named "Ra Ta" who was a master healer presiding over something called the "Temple of Sacrifice" and the legendary "Hall of Records" purportedly hidden beneath the Sphinx (as well as two branch locations in Bimini and Mexico).


And in between our past lives, said Cayce, our souls go on tour in space, visiting the other planets of our solar system. The planets may seen uninhabited to the naked eye but are actually densely populated by other-dimensional beings that we cannot perceive. (However, Cayce's cosmology didn't mention what modern science now knows - that our solar system is far bigger than it was thought to be, and that there are hundreds of thousands of planets, both major and minor, in it.)

Further, Cayce taught that an alien civilization on the planets of Arcturus is one of the most advanced in this galaxy. He described it a "fifth-dimensional civilization that is a prototype of Earth's future". From this, an entire army of spinoff UFO religions devoted to the Arcturians sprouted in the subsequent century, with many post-Cayce wannabe-channelers claiming to be Arcturians themselves, such as Commander Theda.


Cayce finally died of exhaustion in 1945, but his voluminous teachings are kept alive by the Association for Research and Enlightenment in Virginia Beach. Alas, there's very little tribute paid him here in his home state by Kentuckians, save for an exhibit at the Pennyroyal Area Museum and my own painting of him with a two-headed calf.

Administrative Holiday

It's that day again - "where does the time go?", you might well ask.

Of course, just what the meaning of this day depends on the beholder. Here in the noble city of Louisville, this is Oaks Day, which means it's Churchill Downs' annual Grade I stakes race for three-year-old Thoroughbred fillies. But more importantly, it means an excuse to have a pre-Derby celebration and start drinkin' early. Many workplaces and even schools take off for Oaks Day, but no one declares that the holiday is explicitly because of the Oaks, of course - most simply say it is an "administrative holiday."

For others, April 30 means Walpurgis Night (Walpurgisnacht). It's a traditional religious holiday of pre-Christian origin, celebrated by Christian as well as non-Christian communities, past the stroke of midnight and through "The Door Into Summer" - May Day, the beginning of the new season. It's probably the one day of the year that Catholics, pagans, witches, Satanists, and anarchists all almost see eye-to-eye.

Walpurgisnacht is named for Saint Walpurga. The earliest representation of Walpurga, from the early 11th century, depicts her holding stylized stalks of grain. The grain attribute has been interpreted as identifying Walpurga as a Christianized protectress of the grain, the Grain Mother. Farmers fashioned her image in a corn dolly at harvest time, and from this tradition also comes the real origin of the Scarecrow figure in the fields - scaring birds was never its original intention.

Yahweh's Philadelphia Remnant Assembly

Whilst making my meandering rounds on the net today, I stumbled across a curious religious site called TNT 777, or "Tomorrow's News - Today". (Are they Early Edition fans?)

Operating from a P.O. box in Bowling Green, this group is called "Yahweh's Philadelphia Remnant Assembly", and their mission statement reads:

"We preach and teach the Gospel/Good News of the soon-coming Kingdom of Yahweh to be established here on this earth ruled by his glorified Son, Yahshua the Anointed One."

They publish newsletters with such thought-provoking articles as "Syncretism: A Deadly Mix" and "Leviticus 23 or Dehioth 1-4?", but after reading them all online, I still have no clear picture of just what it is these people believe (Their "Our Beliefs" page has evidently been under construction for years).


But I did note passing references to Herbert W. Armstrong, the founder of the Worldwide Church of God. You'd think that would be something of a lamp unto my feet to learn more about this "Yahweh's Philadelphia Remnant Assembly", but not so. Even a cursory attempt to suss it out was like wading into the LaBrea tar pits, because the Worldwide Church of God split off into many different factions after Armstrong's death. There's the Restored Church of God, the Global Church of God, the Living Church of God, the Philadelphia Church of God, the United Church of God, the Sabbath Church of God, etc. You can read more about all the post-Armstrong squabbles in Stephen Flurry's book Raising the Ruins.

But that still doesn't tell me what these folks in Bowling Green are up to, nor even what "Philadelphia Remnant" means. Even philadelphiaremnant.com doesn't explain it. Neither does satansrapture.com, but it comes closer to it - apparently it refers to one of the more puzzling passages in the Book of Revelation, about the Biblical-era Church of Philadelphia.

I dunno. It's all over my head. But it is interesting stuff.

Hutaree Militia-Cult in Kentucky?

I've got an article on Louisville Mojo now about the mysterious "Hutaree", a paramilitary religious-apocalyptic cult recently busted by the FBI in Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana.

With Ohio and Indiana being frighteningly close to home, and with reports that Hutaree was working hard on expanding its reach into all 50 states, the influence of the Hutaree cult and its sympathizers on Kentucky will bear closer investigation in the days and weeks to come.

Dinosaurs Alive!

Though I still prefer the old-school simplicity of Cave City's Dinosaur World, I'm looking forward to "Dinosaurs Alive!", the Louisville Zoo's forthcoming exhibit of high-tech animatronic prehistoric beasties.

(But will Kentucky's sizable Creationism contingent get their Archaeopteryx feathers ruffled by it? Read my article about it on Louisville Mojo!)