Before He Was Colonel

We recently observed the date of Harland Sanders' passing; the Colonel left us on December 16, 1980 at the age of 90.

As the march of time travels along its inevitable track, I wonder - as I perenially do - how many kids today even realize that "the Colonel" wasn't just a cartoon or a stylized logo graphic but a real person, who forged one of America's greatest success stories out of sheer self-determinism.

But I also wonder how many older people know about the Colonel's adventures before he became the King Of All Chicken. Even if he had never founded Kentucky Fried Chicken at the age of 40, Sanders lived more in the first half of his life than many men in the entirety of their span. One of my back-burner projects is to write a play about the prehistory of Colonel Sanders, detailing his early exploits.

He literally started with nothing, having run away from home at a young age. And he got from Point A to Point B with an alacrity that is astounding. It is a perfect embodiment of the famous maxim "every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around".

Sanders fibbed about his age so he could join the Army at the age of 16, and served his country. He was a sailor. He was a steamboat operator. He traveled to Cuba. He worked on the railroad. He was a volunteer firefighter. He was a streetcar conductor. He was an Insurance Agent. He ran a very successful farm. He still found time to raise a family (two daughters - Margaret and Mildred - and a son who died at an early age). He owned a gas station, a restaurant and a hotel. What have you done lately?


He was also an accomplished musician, playing bluegrass and gospel on mandolin, and eventually forming his own all-mandolin band. He also released several other albums, including a surreal faux-Latin LP entitled Tijuana Picnic.

One bio of Sanders even states that for a time, he was a "self-taught lawyer". Those were the good old days.


Some negative nellies say that he was not a "real" Colonel, but that's just not so. He was and is a member in good standing of that noble organization called The Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels, and that's quite real enough for me.

So let's bow our heads belatedly and give a nod of respect not just for that white haired, white suited caricature, but for the accomplished man that Sanders was prior to that. It's inspiring what people could accomplish back in the day, before everyone drank artificial sweeteners and became addicted to Mafia Wars and Petville.

The Center of Yum!

There's been much speculation about what the new Louisville downtown arena would be named, and now the wondering is over: Louisville-based Yum! Brands has become the naming sponsor for the building, which is now called - wait for it - the KFC Yum! Center.

Kind of a kooky name - rather unwieldy - but I'm sure we'll all get used to it. I predict people's habits will devolve into simply calling it either the "KFC Center" or the "Yum Center" in the end. We'll see which. (I prefer "Yum Center" myself, and without that pesky exclamation point.)

I haven't heard PETA's reaction to this turn of events yet, but something tells me there'll be no joy at vegan central tonight. I did notice some waggish Cards fan on a message board note, "When PETA throws red paint on us as we enter the KFC Yum! Center it won't matter because we'll already be wearing red!" A-hyuk.


But what I want to know is, will they be giving away free KFC on opening day in November? (Hint, hint, hint.)

Reward Offered for Colonel's Head

The stakes have been raised in search for the stolen bronze bust of Colonel Sanders, recently stolen from a KFC in Berea. The management have decided to post a reward - $500 worth of free chicken - for the man or woman who brings them the head of Harland Sanders. (How much for Alfredo Garcia's?)

Far be it from me to carp, but a mere 500 bucks worth of food seems like a rather chintzy reward. I mean, the head's worth way more than 500 bucks cash, but 500 bucks chicken? Me, in this economy, were I some sort of Boba Fett-like bounty hunter sent out on a mission to retrieve the stolen idol by any means necessary, I'd say keep your fried birds, Clyde, give me shekels, folding green, mazuma, dead presidents, filthy lucre, do re mi, money.

(Graphic filched from The Consumerist).

The Search for the Colonel's Bronze Head

From the Lexington Herald-Leader:

A bronze bust of Col. Harland Sanders was stolen from the KFC on Chestnut Street in Berea on Jan. 24.

Four young men had been the only customers during the time frame that the bust disappeared. After they left, an employee "discovered that the colonel had left also," said Capt. Ken Clark of the Berea Police Department.

Restaurant manager Cassie Tipton, said the bust was present in the lobby when an employee was cleaning that area Sunday afternoon. She left the lobby and when she came back, the bust, valued at about $1,200, was missing, Tipton said.

The four young men were high school or college age and left in a silver passenger car. Anyone with information should contact Berea police at (859)986-8456.

Gosh, I just can't imagine who would want to steal a bust of Colonel Sanders. If I were the police, I'd make inquiries who might have a motive in wanting to attack KFC in such a petty and childish way, and maybe research whether there are any local members of militant anti-KFC groups out there.

(Especially ones that have recently protested a Colonel Sanders statue in nearby Corbin.)

PETA Coming to Corbin

The Cult of PETA, in their blind zeal to use KFC as a scapegoat for their radical and sociopathic agenda, have done it again.

They had no problem with proposing a "crippled chicken" statue emblazoned with a libelous "KFC Cripples Chickens" motto, but now they're preparing to organize a protest rally over a statue of Harland Sanders in his hometown of Corbin.

Previously, PETA has pulled such morally tasteless stunts as sneaking a fake gravestone into Cave Hill Cemetery near Sanders' grave.

PETA don't seem to understand that all of the things which they wring their hands about regarding KFC's business practices today, even if they were true (which they aren't), have nothing whatsoever to do with Colonel Sanders, who sold the small company in 1964. Though Sanders' likeness is still used to this day as a cartoonish mascot for the brand, this is no reason to cast aspersions on this man's reputation, and to hound him posthumously for alleged events that, even if true, happened long after his watch.

PETA has also blanketly insulted the entire city of Louisville, calling it the "Cruelty Capital" - just because KFC's parent corporation, Yum! Brands, happens to be headquartered here.

PETA's "Crippled Chicken" Statue

Those anti-carnivore extremists PETA - who criticized President Obama for swatting a fly this year - are launching yet another volley in their neverending campaign against the Louisville-based Kentucky Fried Chicken chain. They've applied for a permit to erect a statue of a cartoon chicken covered in blood and walking on crutches, bearing the words "KFC Cripples Chickens".

Read more about it on my Louisville Mojo column!

KFC Infiltrates the UN

It's one of the most brilliant - and insane - promotional stunts I've seen in a long, long time. No, I'm not talking about The Heene Family Balloon; I'm talking about Colonel Sanders invading the United Nations. According to the Telegraph:

A man impersonating the Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Colonel Sanders managed to dupe his way into the UN headquarters in New York and shake hands with a senior official.

Dressed in the fast food icon's familiar white suit and black bow tie, the actor evaded tight security to gain access to the restricted areas of the complex.

He even posed for a photograph with Ali Treki (علي التريكي), the new president of the UN General Assembly, before the alarm was raised and he was ejected.

A spokeswoman for Ban Ki-moon, the UN secretary-general, yesterday said that an investigation had been launched into the security breach, which was dreamed up by KFC as a promotional stunt... As part of its campaign to promote a new menu range, KFC is "lobbying" the UN for the fictional Grilled Nation to be accepted as a member state.

I'm tellin' ya, Colonel Sanders Impersonators are shaping up to be a major meme of the 21st century. Wait and see.

I think it might have been ill-advised (okay, okay, I know, I know, the whole crazy scheme was ill-advised) to have the Colonel pose for a photo-op with Mr. Treki though. Treki has recently come under a lot of fire for his recent anti-gay statements to the media, and many are calling for his resignation.


They even have an electronic billboard on Times Square in NYC counting the new recruits to "Grilled Nation". (I'm not sure how they compute that. Are these actually the number of units sold?) I think the Colonel's Grilled Chicken is dee-lish and have tried it several times, so I guess I have honorary citizenship in Grilled Nation. Nevertheless, I'm all about friedness.

Kentucky Grilled Chicken targeted by PCRM

A health-extremist organization called Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, which has previously targeted McDonald's, Burger King, Chick fil-A, Chili's, Applebee's, Outback Steakhouse, and TGI Friday's over a naturally-occuring substance called PhIP, has now added KFC to its hit list.

What's the fuss about? Well, PCRM is alleging the chain has failed to warn its customers that its grilled chicken contains a carcinogen: PhIP, an amino commonly found in grilled meats of all kinds. That's also including when you grill meat yourself at home, so pretty much everyone on the planet who isn't a vegetarian has ingested plenty of this stuff, by their own hand, in their own home. So why pick on fast food restaurants?

The answer is: because PCRM has a definite anti-meat agenda and probably would like nothing better to see meat-eating abolished in America. Fast food restaurants, often scapegoated, are an easy target to start building towards this goal. Don't take my word for it, peruse PCRM's wacky website and see what you think. Also take a look at their press release about their attack on KFC, and note the overt scare-language like "dangerous carcinogen" (isn't that redundant?).

Appallingly, the press release even admits that only twelve samples of the KFC product were tested, and from only six locations. That doesn't even come close to being statistically significant, and is completely unscientific. For those who wish to obtain more detailed information, you have to do some digging around and find the PDF of their report.

According to consumerfreedom.com, the PCRM is a front group for PETA, which certainly clarifies things. They also quote the American Medical Association giving the PCRM a public ass-kicking back in 2004:

"The general approach used by PCRM takes selective data and quotations, often out of context ... In response to a Resolution passed unanimously at the recent AMA House of Delegates meeting, the American Medical Association calls upon the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine to immediately terminate the inappropriate and unethical tactics your organization uses to manipulate public opinion."

Of course, I can't totally support consumerfreedom.com either - as with most things, the truth lies somewhere in between the two extreme viewpoints. Consumerfreedom.com defends some things I can't get behind at all, like High Fructose Corn Syrup (which I believe is very bad but often consume it anyway) and NutraSweet and Splenda (which I regard as poison and won't touch - EVER). But consumerfreedom.com's position is that even when things are bad for you, the public should still be allowed to consume them if they really, really want to - and I tend to agree.

And according to Activist Cash:

PCRM is a fanatical animal rights group that seeks to remove eggs, milk, meat, and seafood from the American diet, and to eliminate the use of animals in scientific research. Despite its operational and financial ties to other animal activist groups and its close relationship with violent zealots, PCRM has successfully duped the media and much of the general public into believing that its pronouncements about the superiority of vegetarian-only diets represent the opinion of the medical community...

Often appearing in a lab coat, PCRM president Neal Barnard looks the part of a mainstream health expert. He also churns out a steady stream of reliably anti-meat and anti-dairy nutrition research. Although his “results” generally conclude that a vegan diet (practiced by a tiny fraction of Americans) will solve any of dozens of health problems, the mass media eats them up. And PCRM is media-savvy enough to take advantage.

But Barnard was trained as a psychiatrist, not a nutritionist. His nutritional advice boils down to one basic message: don’t eat meat, or anything that comes from animals.

I have no plans to stop eating KFC, nor do I intend to stop grilling at home.

Colonel Sanders Impersonators

Two ersatz KFC mascots have caught my eye lately.

Colonel Bob Thompson (photo above), former mayor of Lawrenceburg, is in demand these days as a Sanders impersonator. According to his website:

"Thompson has appeared as the late Col. Harland Sanders, the Kentucky Fried Chicken founder, in promotional events marking the 50th Anniversary of the KFC restaurant chain. Thompson has also won several look-alike contests, most notable was the World's Chicken Festival.

Colonel Bob makes many personal appearances. Please contact him for your special event!"

I found Colonel Bob's business card in the parking lot at Claudia Sanders Dinner House recently.

And then there's Don Decker (photo below) who LEO Weekly recently profiled. According to the article, Decker is a man with a criminal past who found redemption in imitating Harland Sanders for tourist photo-ops at Louisville's Fourth Street Live (Much to Fourth Street Live's dismay.)



A third Sanders mimic, one Thomas Rost, is mentioned on numerous websites that all seem to be referencing a now-removed Wikipedia entry. Aside from that, I can find no info on Rost.

At this rate, professional lookalikes of Sanders could one day be as lucrative a gig as Abraham Lincoln impersonators.

The Colonel Sanders Curse

Japanese pro baseball team the Hanshin Tigers were especially rambunctious and giddy after a season championship victory in 1985. So much so, in fact, that a mob of over-exuberant celebrants ripped out a statue of Colonel Sanders from its moorings in front of an Osaka KFC restaurant, and proceeded to throw it into the Dotonbori river.

Subsequent attempts were made to retrieve the statue, but it was gone. And the Tigers never won a championship again. The disappearance of the statue has been blamed as part of the so-called "Curse of the Colonel".

Well, he's baaaaaaaack.

This week, a team of divers were sent to search for unexploded bombs (huh? I dunno. That's what all the news reports are saying) in the river and accidentally discovered the Colonel statue, looking not too bad after a quarter of a century at the bottom of the river. Japanese baseball fans are rejoicing and declaring long national nightmare is over: the Colonel Sanders Curse has been lifted by his statue's resurrection from its watery grave.

So what will become of the waterlogged Colonel now? KFC execs are in talks to bring it to America, in hopes it will bring good luck to the Chicago Cubs. (Seriously.)

KFC Secret Recipe Moved

From Yahoo News:

Colonel Sanders' handwritten recipe for fried chicken was back in its Kentucky home Tuesday after five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret.

Nothing went afoul when the recipe was returned from an undisclosed location to KFC's headquarters late Monday in a lockbox handcuffed to the wrist of a security consultant.

KFC President Roger Eaton was visibly relieved when the door to a new electronic safe was shut with the single sheet of yellowing paper stashed inside. "Mission accomplished," he said.

"It was very nerve wracking," Eaton said later of the recipe's hiatus from a vault where it has been kept for decades. "I don't want to be the only president who's lost the recipe."

KFC is a subsidiary of Louisville-based Yum Brands Inc., which also owns Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Long John Silver's and A&W All-American Food.

The recipe lays out a mix of 11 herbs and spices that coat the chain's Original Recipe chicken, including exact amounts for each ingredient. It is written in pencil and signed by Harland Sanders.

The iconic recipe is now protected by an array of high-tech security gadgets, including motion detectors and cameras that allow guards to monitor the vault around the clock.

"It's like an onion of security — many layers," said security expert Bo Dietl, who brought the recipe back to the building.

Thick concrete blocks encapsulate the vault, situated near office cubicles, that is connected to a backup generator to keep the security system operating in times of power outages.

"I can guarantee you, once it's in there, it will be safe," Dietl assured Eaton.

The recipe is such a tightly held secret that not even Eaton knows its full contents. Only two company executives at any time have access to the recipe. KFC won't release their names or titles, and it uses multiple suppliers who produce and blend the ingredients but know only a part of the entire contents.

"We've very comfortable with the security," Eaton said. "I don't think anyone can break into it."

Colonel Sanders' Tijuana Picnic

They just don't make records like this anymore.

Claudia Sanders

So what do you do when you're Colonel Sanders, you've just sold out your restaurant empire, your name and even your likeness to a corporation, and you don't want to just rest on your laurels?

You start a new restaurant under your wife's name, of course!


Most people - even Kentuckians don't realize that Claudia Sanders' Dinner House in Shelbyville, KY has been going strong since the 1960s, offering the one true real actual original Sanders Corbin-era secret formula for his chicken (apparently he had already drifted somewhat from his own original formula by the time he'd sold out, and his restaurant empire had expanded to over six hundred locations).

The gift shop/waiting lounge is a shrine to the goateed one, offering rare limited posters of a Colonel Sanders painting that new owners Tommy and Cherry Settle discovered in the basement when they took over the property. Other oddities such as the infamous "Colonel Sanders Mandolin Band" LP are matted and framed on the wall, although I didn't see his Tijuana Picnic album.

I'm no KFC-basher by any means - let it be said I love the KFC of today (sorry, PETA) and support Yum! Brands one hundred and ten percent in their efforts to keep their family of brands vital in an increasingly scattered global marketplace. But the food at Claudia's just can't be beat, and the atmosphere lends a true Southern grandeur and splendor to the meal.


If you never had a reason to drive to Shelbyville before (and there are plenty of other reasons), now you do. Get thee to Claudia's and taste some history. And check out page 136 in your copy of Weird Kentucky.

Colonel Sanders

As if creating the greatest fried chicken restaurant ever and becoming a Kentucky iconic figure himself weren't enough, Harland Sanders led quite an interesting life even before he went into the bird business.

In his early adulthood, Sanders was a volunteer firefighter, a chef, a soldier stationed in Cuba, a traveling salesman, a steamboat operator, active Freemason (he underwent his initiation in 1917) and ran several small businesses of his own, including a gas station in Corbin.

It was in Corbin that his special way of preparing fried chicken became a great roadside success, and by 1932 a thriving restaurant and motel had developed out of it. Sanders Cafe Chicken was renamed Kentucky Fried Chicken in 1952, and the rest is history.

In 1980, Sanders died at the age of 90 of pneumonia and leukemia. He's buried under a visually striking monument in Louisville's Cave Hill Cemetery.

Sanders Cafe

Corbin, KY is home to Sanders Cafe, which was the first Kentucky Fried Chicken establishment, opened by Colonel Harlan Sanders in 1940. It originally functioned as the built-in restaurant for Sanders' motel, which sadly no longer exists, but don't panic: the museum has a meticulously detailed scale model diarama of the entire block as it appeared back in the day.

The museum (which is registered as an official historic site) is filled with all manner of figurines and busts of Sanders and all variety of bric-a-brac with the Colonel's likeness, no matter how trivial and peripheral (even the original paraphenalia issued to advertise the museum's opening in 1990 is enshrined as if antique).


The look and feel of Sanders' original restaurant is maintained for the most part, but the effect is somewhat killed by having a completely modern and glitzy KFC serving counter in the midst of it all.