The Johnson Family

And speaking of William Burroughs (which we were in the previous post), if you've read him (and I'm going to assume you have because that's just the kind of solipsist I am) then this grave in Louisville's Eastern Cemetery probably would make you do a double-take, too. (And maybe also if you're a Days of our Lives fan!)

Paul K's first band in Lexington, The Johnsons, were so named as an homage to Burroughs.

Cemetery Within a Cemetery

It's not quite as wacky as a Starbucks within a Starbucks, but I've long been intrigued by this cemetery within a cemetery in Louisville. The perpetually plagued Eastern Cemetery is host to this transplanted family plot, the Coleman Family Cemetery. I'm not sure exactly where on Collins Lane these graves originally were before being dug up and reinterred here, but I guess all involved must have come to regret the choice of Eastern Cemetery. I can't help but note how implausibly close-together these markers are placed, and wonder.

Mary Richardson's Defaced Grave

I hadn't been in Eastern Cemetery lately and decided to drop in there this past weekend, to check on its latest state of decay. I am pleased to report that the volunteer preservationists have been doing some good works - many gravestones that have been toppled and laid face down in the mud for years have been hoisted back up and remounted onto the bases of the markers.

Unfortunately, the ongoing vandalism seems to be getting worse. For all the remounted stones I saw, I also witnessed many more knocked over that hadn't been so the last time I was here.


And then I saw this grave. Someone took an astonishing amount of effort to eradicate the person's name from it. Manufacturers of gravestones engrave the lettering very deep, so you really, really, really have to want to remove a name in order to get it done, and you probably have to spend hours working at it.

So the question before us is, why would someone go to so much trouble to obliterate this person's name? And not only the name, but the dates of birth and death. My first thought was that some idiot kids did this, but you know and I know that kids of today probably don't have the attention span necessary to devote so much time and elbow-grease to any task, not even one of evil mischief and of their own desire. No, I hate to say it, but I feel like somebody really hated somebody here, enough to desecrate their final resting place - and in so doing, perhaps remove the last trace of evidence that this person even existed.


Well, they failed. They left untouched the text on the reverse side of the tombstone, which is for one Joseph Richardson 1901-1974. So once we know that Richardson is the surname for our mystery person, it becomes clear when we look at her side again. And from there, after close scrutiny, I'm certain the name is "Mary".

Someone out there has to know who these people were. Anyone?

Reclining Figure on Grave

I like this reclining female figure on a grave in Louisville's Eastern Cemetery, worn by the elements to the point it now resembles sort of archaeological artifact.

Frog Doll in Eastern Cemetery

Last summer, Victoria and I were doing some cleanup in Louisville's troubled Eastern Cemetery, picking up trash and straightening fallen flags and shepherd's hooks.


This very old stuffed frog was mounted on a stick at a baby's grave and had fallen over, so we propped it back up to its proper upright position. About 15 minutes later, it began to spontaneously speak, freaking us both out considerably. (Apparently there was still a tiny charge left in its ancient battery, but weak enough to cause a long delay after having inadvertently pressed its talk button.)

Graveside Menagerie

Love this grave that's completely obscured by toys and figurines, in the babyland area of the troubled Eastern Cemetery in Louisville. The tally is: three frogs, five kittycats, one cherub, one Jesus, one Santa.

Here Lies Juanita

Like the blank grave in Cave Hill or the mysterious Vold J.M.U., this grave for "Juanita" is a bit lacking in data. Usually a gravestone with only a first name on it is located in a family plot around a central stone that indicates the shared surname. Not so here. There's no context and no clue from any of the surrounding gravestones about who Juanita was, nor why she lacks a last name.

You can find the enigmatic Juanita in the ever-troubled Eastern Cemetery.

Crypt of Cremains?

As mentioned here recently, in 2005 it was reported that a large crypt at Louisville's troubled Eastern Cemetery was unlocked, and filled with boxes of cremains (cremated human ashes), many of them mixed together in the same container.

You can easily peer into the crypt through the openings in the now-locked gate, and I took these photos. The blue boxes are definitely containers for cremains, and the brown boxes on the floor may also be. I'm not sure if authorities rescued the cremains in 2005, and these blue boxes are just empty leftovers, or if they just slapped a padlock on the door and these boxes still contain cremated human bodies.

"Witch's Grave" - Not!

One of the graves in Eastern Cemetery has unfortunately developed a ridiculous reputation as a "Witch's Grave" or "Satanic Grave", for the stupidest of all possible reasons:

1. It has a five-pointed upside-down star on it.

2. It says "I'll live again".

And that's it. No, really.

First of all, it's commonly known (seriously, it's very commonly known) that a Masonic-oriented Bible-based organization for women known as the Order of the Eastern Star employs a five-pointed upside-down star as its emblem. It is seen on countless headstones in cemeteries. It's no big deal. It has nothing to do with satanism, witchcraft, Wicca, paganism, etc. and has no symbolic relation to Baphomet or the inverted pentagram symbol that pop-culture-overloaded youth, in their ignorance, so readily and superficially associate with all things occult.

Secondly, "I'll live again" is an extremely common sort of Christian sentiment found on graves, referring to the promised Biblical resurrection wherein the dead return to life, either literally on Earth, or spiritually in Heaven, depending on your interpretation of the Scriptures. Any old cemetery is filled with inscriptions like "I Will Live Again", "I Shall Return", "We Shall Meet Again", "I Am Not Dead But Only Sleeping", etc. It's no big deal.

There is every indication that this was simply a nice little old lady, a devout Christian, who spent time with her Eastern Star gal-pals knitting and tatting. Grow a brain and stop perpetuating this ridiculous rumor about someone's dead grandmother.

Louisville Crematory and Columbarium / Eastern Cemetery

The abandoned Louisville Crematory and Columbarium is part of Eastern Cemetery, which was shut down in 1989 when a sick discovery was made: that cemetery officials had been secretly burying multiple people in the same grave since the 1920s, and deliberately mishandling cremations as a cost-cutting measure.

In 2005 it was discovered that a walk-in crypt in the cemetery was actually unlocked, and filled with boxes of cremains (cremated human ashes)! Some of these boxes of ashes were labeled with multiple names, and still others simply said "unknown." From a WLKY news story that year:

"It was the burial ground for nearly all of Louisville's prominent 19th-century black leaders and many other dignitaries, but historic Eastern Cemetery has turned into a chilling horror story that only gets stranger as the years go by. It's basically abandoned after the discovery a decade ago that bodies are literally stacked on top of each other -- 48,000 people buried in 16,000 graves ...then a state investigator determined 95 percent of the infant graves here are as shallow as 6 inches deep. Now, we find a crypt on the middle of the property, not locked, containing what appears to be the cremated remains of dozens of people."

A shed in the back is filled with gravestones, some damaged badly. It would seem that no one is now able to determine where these stones are supposed to go. Even before I found out the backstory of these horrors, I've felt palpable vibes of despair - practically cries for help - emanating from this place when I drive by it.

A few years ago, in an article I wrote for the now-defunct Louisville Guide magazine, I interviewed a fellow who was sick and tired of how everyone had abandoned the cemetery. He took it upon himself to start mowing the lawns there, and to attempt to fix the damage done by vandals. I'm not sure if he's still taking on that herculean task, but someone is indeed still mowing it.

Grave desecration is commonplace here. When I drove through there today, I noticed numerous columns and headstones knocked over that had not so before. And I heard a rumor from a reputable journalist friend of mine that there is evidence of some sort of ritual animal sacrifices taking place here recently, whether by some arcane occult weirdos or by stupid goth kids (probably the latter). Four panels of marble have been forcibly removed from the mausoleum and the containers are now empty. Bronze nameplates have also been pried off of other panels. It's truly sickening.


Since Eastern Cemetery is adjacent to Cave Hill Cemetery, whose concertina-wire-lined superwall runs along two sides of the place, doesn't it make sense that it should just be taken over by them? Without some sort of major protections in place, this already tragically damaged cemetery will rapidly be destroyed completely at this rate.

The Crematory and Columbarium has been permanently bricked up, apparently to prevent vandals from gaining access. In so doing, however, they performed a sort of vandalism to the building themselves, by destroying the beautiful ornate entryway which had been the only nice thing about the edifice in the first place.

(Postscript: Very similar atrocities have occurred in Cincinnati's Wesleyan Cemetery... is it something about the dark mojo of the Ohio River that encourages such things?)