Showing posts with label wrestling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wrestling. Show all posts

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Northern Wrestling Federation


Forget all that commercialized TV wrestling and the nauseating "Mixed Martial Arts" junk. There's some real wrestling going on right here in your backyard, that good old-school southern-fried boppin' people over the heads with metal folding chairs and trash cans while wearing masks, capes, and speedos. Wholesome family entertainment.

The Northern Wrestling Federation has been wreaking havoc along the Cincinnati-Newport border for quite awhile now, cheerfully bringing low-budget wrestling to the masses "the way it's supposed to be", according to their posters. With a stable of talent with names like Hellena Heavenly, The Zodiac, T-Money, Stamp Lickage, The Playboy, The Genuine Superstar, The Warlock, Ice & Virus, The Fitness Machine, Sin-D, and Nasty Russ, how could they go wrong?


You can follow the wacky misadventures of the NWF crew on MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter.


Friday, September 11, 2009

Miss Elizabeth


Miss Elizabeth, aka Elizabeth Ann Hulette from Frankfort, KY, was well known to wrestling fans during the 1980s and 1990s as the manager to "Macho Man" Randy Savage. She frequently appeared in the onstage shenanigans, including a bit where George "The Animal" Steele fell in love with her, which made Savage jealous and led to a series of grudge matches in a well-publicized feud over her.

In 1989, during a tag-team match, Savage was thrown onto Miss Elizabeth and she was knocked unconscious. Hulk Hogan rescued her and carried her backstage area to the medics. Savage was indignant that Hogan abandoned the match, and seemed more concerned about this than the safety of his manager. This began a "bad guy" period for Savage, during which he had a different manager.

In 1991, Savage proposed to Miss Elizabeth in the ring, and their wedding was also broadcast live in the ring at SummerSlam 1991. Jake "The Snake" Roberts and The Undertaker crashed the wedding reception and hid a live cobra in their pile of wedding presents. When the cobra failed to bite anyone, Roberts held it directly up to Savage's arm and forced it to bite.


By 1996, she'd divorced Savage and joined up with Ric Flair, who bragged in the ring that she'd given all her divorce-settlement money to him. Her alliance with Flair was short-lived, however, and though for a time she was side by side with Savage on the nWo, she ended up spending the rest of the 90s as arm candy for people like Eric Bischoff and Lex Luger. In 1999 she called the police on Bill Goldberg, claiming he was stalking her. After he was taken into custody, Miss Elizabeth revealed that she had lied about the whole thing so that Goldberg would miss a crucial match with Kevin Nash.


In 2000, Miss Elizabeth began a full-fledged pro wrestler career of her own, rather being a drama-generating sidekick character for the men to fight over. She wrestled, among others,
Shannon "Daffney" Spruill, Rhonda Sing, and Debra "Madusa" Miceli, the Monster Truck drivin' wrestler.


Everything I've said so far happened in the parallel universe of wrestling, and may or may not have really happened, depending on your interpretation of many-worlds quantum decoherence. But in 2000 the WCW terminated their contract with Miss Elizabeth for reasons unknown, and it wasn't just a fictional angle. By the following summer, she was working the front desk at a Main Event Fitness Center in Marietta, GA. On April 19, 2003, Cobb County police were called to her home after Lex Luger (to whom she was now engaged), allegedly assaulted her, leaving her with a bump on her head, a cut lip, and two black eyes.

A week later, Luger called 911 to report that Elizabeth was not breathing. She was pronounced dead on arrival when paramedics got her to the hospital. A police search of their home turned up Vicodin, anabolic steroids, OxyContin, synthetic growth hormone, testosterone, Xanax, and more. The coroner's autopsy report on Miss Elizabeth determined she had died from a combination of alcohol and multiple prescription drugs.

Miss Elizabeth is buried in Frankfort Cemetery.