Sandy's Hamburgers

Tonight I've been doing a little research for my proposed fifteen-volume encyclopedic work What Used To Be Where, Back In The Day (and you thought I was joking about that, didn't you?)

In the course of my studies, I just happened across a delightful web page devoted to the long-since-departed Sandy's Restaurant in Louisville. Sandy's, apparently a Scottish-themed burger joint, had a girl in a kilt and a plaid beret for their mascot and served a specialty burger called a "Big Scott". They operated one location in Paducah and three locations in Louisville. Of the Louisville stands, one was at 5009 South Third St. (pictured above in a photograph taken on October 16, 1971) another was at 1007 W. Broadway, and the other was at 1420 Poplar Level Road. The Paducah stand was at 1726 Broadway.


There's nothing like a gang of retro-obsessive hunter-gatherer archivists to restore my faith in the human condition. These people are hardcore serious about reconstructing the lost memory of Sandy's for posterity, as it should be. Here's an example from their site to illustrate their zeal:

"The 1968 Sandy's locations list shows one of these locations as a possible 1967 opening. The 1973 list shows Poplar Level Road as Sandy's #317 and 3rd Street as #318 which points to a 1973 opening. Perhaps these locations were rebuilt as the new mini or maxi Sandy's restaurants as some locations were switching to the new buildout at this time and maybe they were renumbered into the 300 range at that time.

Robby Delius shows yet another scenario by providing both the 1965 and 1969 city directory listings for Louisville which shows Poplar Level and S. Third Street as being in existence in 1965 as well as 1969!"

We need more people like this in America.

And it gets better. It turns out that this lovingly detailed paean to preserving memorabilia related to the Sandy's of Louisville is actually just one page among many in a greater effort to hoard photos, menus, and even signage from every Sandy's restaurant that ever existed on Earth. It could take two hours to absorb it all, and if you're as much a card-carrying member of the Society For The Preservation Of Everything as I am, then you will devote those two hours to this holy work.


But wait, there's more!

Sandy's is just the tip o' the iceberg - that link is actually just one small fraction of Captain Ernie's Showboat, a truly leviathan site that assiduously sniffs out all available effluvia regarding a whole raft of obscure and neglected stuff from our collective childhood of the Midwest - everything from Romper Room to Cactus Jim to the Davenport, Iowa Morning Farm Report!

Life is good.

Olbermann's Ubermeltdown

I try to avoid angry blowhard talking-heads from both sides of the political aisle - just as I can't abide right-wing crank Bill O' Reilly, neither can I tolerate left-wing crank Keith Olbermann. Neither Republicans nor Democrats even come close to dealing with the issues that I consider important, and neither side has offered many workable solutions to world problems in my lifespan. And when it comes to civility, I have always found Olbermann to be every bit as childish, condescending, and abrasive as the jerks on the opposite side he claims to stand against, such as Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and the aforementioned O' Reilly. I wish they'd all get off the air, so-called liberals and so-called conversatives alike.

I have to say all this to preface my comments, because most people live in such a knee-jerk either-or bicameral box of their own imprisonment that if I dare to knock the big-headed K.O., people will automatically assume I must be a Republican.

Though I gave up watching his show long ago, I'd have to be living under a rock in Utah to not know that Keith has been the subject of much speculation ever since he found himself in serious hot water with MSNBC execs for his political contributions. This past November, MSNBC suspended him indefinitely and without pay for violating their policy requiring employees to ask for management's approval before making any political contributions. A weird policy, and possibly a stupid one. But it is the network's policy, and Olbermann did break it. He was soon reinstated, but apparently was so angered over the incident that he immediately began discussing his exit from the network the moment they took him back.

Now he's resigned and has made the bizarre move of announcing his new venture: a Twitter account mocking FOX News, presumably from which he will continue his tired shtick of name-calling, insulting, and calling just about everyone "the worst person in the world".

But what interests me most about all this is that Olbermann's downfall began in part because of Kentucky senate candidate Jack Conway, who was one of the three politicians Olbermann made a $2400 donation to. The other two were Paul Grijalva (who had just been a guest on Olbermann's show prior to the donation) and even more interestingly, Gabrielle Giffords, who was subsequently the victim of an assassination attempt by some Salvia-smoking conspiracy buff named Jared Lee Loughner whose mind reportedly slipped off the rails after being fired from his job at Quizno's.

So was it really that important to Olbermann that he donate to Conway's campaign in Kentucky? Important enough to risk the wrath of his bosses by flouting the company policy? And he can't say he didn't know about the policy, because he and Rachel Maddow (who I still adore, although even she sometimes gets a little too snarky and "I'm so clever" for my taste) have previously taken FOX News to task over their lack of a similar policy.

As Rachel Maddow and Firedoglake have pointed out, FOX News commentator Sarah Palin donated twice to the campaign of Kentucky's Rand Paul - once by herself and once through SarahPAC. Whether or not there's anything wrong with that is not that important an issue to me; if FOX News wants to be so visibly financially connected to the politicians they supposedly report impartially on, well, let them. It certainly hasn't hurt their standing amongst the masses: FOX News was deemed "most trusted news channel " by a recent poll conducted by Public Policy Polling.

Suzanne Somers in Lexington Court

Hollywood star Suzanne Somers is in Kentucky - unfortunately not to visit Keeneland or to score some beer cheese, but to testify in court.

You may remember (I don't, honestly) that back in 2006, Somers and former Kentucky governor John Y. Brown, Jr. teamed up for a restaurant called Suzanne's Kitchen. The place failed after only five months, and now one of the investors wants his money back. According to WTVQ, "John Bouchillon of Louisville is suing Somers and she's in Lexington now for the trial. Bouchillon claims he was misled into investing $400,000."

WKYT, however, is reporting that Somers had no written contract with anyone in this matter, and was only lending her face and name to the project on a good-faith verbal agreement. In court, Brown has testified that like so many restaurants, the project simply failed and they can't be held responsible; investing in any restaurant, after all, even one endorsed by a celebrity, is a shaky proposition in this economy. Caveat emptor.

Trolling for Trophies

Just received a press release from the Kentucky Fish & Wildlife Foundation, who are having their "Trolling for Trophies" drawing at the end of this month. Apparently the winner of the drawing gets a $1000 shopping spree with Tim Farmer at Bass Pro Shops, an all-day chance to fish in a 13 acre private lake stocked with 50-inch muskie, 23-inch hybrids, 10-pound largemouths, 3-pound shellcrackers and 2-pound crappie. Plus, you get to be on TV, on the Kentucky Afield show.

Sounds pretty good to me... even though apparently neither trolling nor a trophy is actually involved! (The fish themselves are the trophies, I understand that, but still, I like trophy trophies!)

More Kentucky Babes

Back in May we looked at the 1907 recording of "Kentucky Babe" by the Vassar Girls Quartet. While wandering aimlessly around YouTube, I've just now stumbled upon several other versions of the song.

Most interesting of all to my tastes: an extremely rare early "Colgate Comedy Hour" TV clip of Dean Martin & the Four Vagabonds performing the tune. Dean never recorded or performed the song again. But there's also versions by The Lennon Sisters, The Clovers, The Crew-Cuts, and even a rendition at the Maconaquah High School 1985 Talent Show.

Miss Elizabeth

Miss Elizabeth, aka Elizabeth Ann Hulette from Frankfort, KY, was well known to wrestling fans during the 1980s and 1990s as the manager to "Macho Man" Randy Savage. She frequently appeared in the onstage shenanigans, including a bit where George "The Animal" Steele fell in love with her, which made Savage jealous and led to a series of grudge matches in a well-publicized feud over her.

In 1989, during a tag-team match, Savage was thrown onto Miss Elizabeth and she was knocked unconscious. Hulk Hogan rescued her and carried her backstage area to the medics. Savage was indignant that Hogan abandoned the match, and seemed more concerned about this than the safety of his manager. This began a "bad guy" period for Savage, during which he had a different manager.

In 1991, Savage proposed to Miss Elizabeth in the ring, and their wedding was also broadcast live in the ring at SummerSlam 1991. Jake "The Snake" Roberts and The Undertaker crashed the wedding reception and hid a live cobra in their pile of wedding presents. When the cobra failed to bite anyone, Roberts held it directly up to Savage's arm and forced it to bite.


By 1996, she'd divorced Savage and joined up with Ric Flair, who bragged in the ring that she'd given all her divorce-settlement money to him. Her alliance with Flair was short-lived, however, and though for a time she was side by side with Savage on the nWo, she ended up spending the rest of the 90s as arm candy for people like Eric Bischoff and Lex Luger. In 1999 she called the police on Bill Goldberg, claiming he was stalking her. After he was taken into custody, Miss Elizabeth revealed that she had lied about the whole thing so that Goldberg would miss a crucial match with Kevin Nash.


In 2000, Miss Elizabeth began a full-fledged pro wrestler career of her own, rather being a drama-generating sidekick character for the men to fight over. She wrestled, among others,
Shannon "Daffney" Spruill, Rhonda Sing, and Debra "Madusa" Miceli, the Monster Truck drivin' wrestler.


Everything I've said so far happened in the parallel universe of wrestling, and may or may not have really happened, depending on your interpretation of many-worlds quantum decoherence. But in 2000 the WCW terminated their contract with Miss Elizabeth for reasons unknown, and it wasn't just a fictional angle. By the following summer, she was working the front desk at a Main Event Fitness Center in Marietta, GA. On April 19, 2003, Cobb County police were called to her home after Lex Luger (to whom she was now engaged), allegedly assaulted her, leaving her with a bump on her head, a cut lip, and two black eyes.

A week later, Luger called 911 to report that Elizabeth was not breathing. She was pronounced dead on arrival when paramedics got her to the hospital. A police search of their home turned up Vicodin, anabolic steroids, OxyContin, synthetic growth hormone, testosterone, Xanax, and more. The coroner's autopsy report on Miss Elizabeth determined she had died from a combination of alcohol and multiple prescription drugs.

Miss Elizabeth is buried in Frankfort Cemetery.

International Mystery Writers Festival

Every year, the International Mystery Writers Festival is held in, of all places, Owensboro, KY. This year's festival runs from August 12th to the 16th. Their website says:

Mystery lovers worldwide are celebrating the International Mystery Writers' Festival. The Festival presents unique opportunities to discover plays, screenplays, and short stories professionally performed, published, or produced for the first time.

Discovering New Mysteries celebrates the best of new mystery works through an annual competition offering more than $20,000 in prize money. Audience members cast ballots during the festival and select the winners for The Angie Award categories. "The Angies" are named for the legendary Angela Lansbury, Kentucky's First Lady of Mystery 2007.

Among the luminaries who will be in attendance:

William Link - Award-winning writer-producer of TV shows such as Columbo, Murder She Wrote, The Bill Cosby Mysteries, Mannix, Ellery Queen, etc.

Sue Grafton - Louisville's own best-selling mystery chronicler. Grafton's many works include A is for Alibi, B is for Burglar, and C is for Cookie. (Okay, I may have hallucinated that last one.)

David Breckman - Hollywood producer, director, and former Saturday Night Live writer, currently writing for the hit television series Monk, starring Tony Shalhoub.

Zev Buffman - The Tony-nominated Broadway veteran actually lives in Owensboro, and is the CEO of River Park Center.

Gary Sandy - Best known for playing Travis on WKRP in Cincinnati, Gary really is from the southern Ohio area and will be attending the Festival to take part in the "Live Radio Theatre" enactments.

Yarmuth offended by Michael Jackson tribute

Wow, I finally found something I disagree strenuously with Kentucky Congressman John Yarmuth on. Mr. Yarmuth recently complained about the moment of silence held in honor of Michael Jackson last week on the House floor.

Yarmuth is quoted thusly on Politico:

"I thought it was outrageous," Yarmuth told a Los Angeles radio station Monday. "In my two and a half years, we’ve never done that for anybody else who’s a celebrity. We’ve done it for former members, and that’s about it, for former members who’ve passed away. … I basically got up and walked back to the cloakroom and got off the floor, because I just thought it was totally uncalled for and over the top."

Did I say "disagree strenuously"? Well, actually, I couldn't really care less if a bunch of old guys in Washington bow their heads in silence for MJ or not - it's mainly the principle of the thing, that Yarmuth felt it necessary to express umbrage about paying even this token respect to the most popular showbiz icon of our times since Elvis.

(Meanwhile, you can read my own cranky thoughts in defense of Michael Jackson's life and times here on the Transylvania Gentlemen blog.)

Goodbye, Analog World

Broadcast television will cease to exist today in the Commonwealth of Kentucky, and everyplace else in these here United States.

But even after years of public service announcements, even after millions of taxpayer dollars spent on discount coupons to help people buy digital converter boxes, and even after President Obama extending the deadline to make sure that everyone's on the same page, there are still thousands of Kentuckians who are not ready for the jump. Many people still don't even know about this analog-to-digital bait-and-switch.

And they're the lucky ones.

Digital waves are what computers and other electronic devices use to transmit information, but analog waves are how our ears hear. The usage of certain digital waves can have the unnatural effect of reaching the brain without being detected by the ear. There's been a growing murmur on the internet "tinfoil hat" conspiracy circuit about the possibilities of digital audio and video as having the potential to be the ultimate brainwashing medium.

And I do believe they just might be right. Dr. Christine Aschermann warns of "significant negative health consequences" of increased RF radiation associated with digital broadcasting. Among the side effects she reports: "constant headaches, pressure in the head, drowsiness, sleep problems, inability to think clearly, forgetfulness, nervous tensions, irritability, tightness in the chest, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, depressive mood, total apathy, loss of empathy", and more.

According to a paper you can read on Scribd, a Pentagon psychotronics project called SSSS (Silent Sound Spread Spectrum) has already been in place for many years, only waiting for its moment to arise, with the advent of a Government-enforced all-digital world. That time would seem to be right about now.

The SSSS technology comes from US Patent #5,159,703, "Silent Subliminal Presentation System", October 27, 1992.

Researcher Judy Wall makes some wild claims: "There is evidence that the US Government has plans to extend the range of this technology to envelop all peoples, all countries. This can be accomplished, is being accomplished, by utilising the nearly completed HAARP Project for overseas areas and the GWEN network now in place in the US." NEXUS Magazine also carried a great article about Silent Sound in 1998, available here.


But even if it's all true (and it probably is), It doesn't take suspicion of an NSA mind-control conspiracy to get me to shun TV, I can do that just fine by myself.

"Reality" shows like Southern Belles Louisville and America's Next Top Model will turn your mind to mush and lower your IQ by several points just by watching such crap - no techno-brainwashing necessary. So-called "news channels" that consist of little more than the barking of insults and namecalling (yes, I mean both MSNBC and FOX when I say that) will reduce your empathy and heighten your apathy just fine, without any need for billion-dollar DARPA Pentagon gizmos. And with the barrage of loud obnoxious advertisements like that Shamwow guy, most cable television is, for me, nearly unwatchable.

My best advice is to get away from your TV sets and go outside. (Of course, my other best advice would be to also get off the internet. I never denied being a hypocrite.)

David Carradine in Lexington

One of the all-time greats of Hollywood, David Carradine, best known for his roles in the Kung Fu TV series and the Kill Bill films, recently left this world on an odd note.

On June 4, 2009, he was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand. A police official said Carradine was found hanging by a rope in the room's closet with his hands tied together and a shoelace tied around his genitals. According to ABC News, crime scene photos show the actor was wearing what appear to be fishnets and a wig at the time of death, and of course the media/internet merchants of negativity are having a ball with that bit of gossip.

Authorities are still trying to determine whether or not foul play may have been involved. (Considering that his wrists were tied together, seems like a no-brainer to me.)

Artifact Attic has recently unearthed footage of David Carradine performing with his band at the Midwest Entertainment Industry Conference in Lexington, KY, 2003. Click here to see it.

The Simpsons Connection

The exact location of The Simpsons has always been a deliberate source of mixed signals by the show's producers. Various locations for their town of Springfield have been given across the show's run, but in at least one episode - "Behind the Laughter" - their home state is given as being Kentucky.

For years, Kentucky's Springfield was highly regarded among fans as being the most likely candidate, because the citizens of Springfield in The Simpsons have a rivalry with another city called... Shelbyville.


And for bonus irony, very close to the city of Shelbyville, we have Simpsonville!


So, one might have thought Kentucky would be a shoo-in when 20th Century Fox held a contest in 2007 to determine once and for all which of our nation's Springfields would become "in canon" with the show. Not so. Springfield, Vermont won the contest. Since Springfield, KY had the lowest population of any of the competing cities, it seemed a bit unfair just to leave such an important decision to the masses.

It doesn't really matter anyway, because now that the hoopla of the contest is over, the show doesn't really seem to be acknowledging Vermont as its setting. Even in The Simpsons Movie, which the contest was designed to promote, Flanders comments that the city of Springfield sits at the four-way border crux of Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky. Simpsonian topography, therefore, will clearly never be able to be matched with our world.