Donut Cheeseburgers Coming to Kentucky

A Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger may not sound very good to you, but I'm intrigued by the concept. (Then again, I have a stainless steel stomach when it comes to "fair food", having been an early adopter of the deep-fried Twinkie and the deep-fried cheesecake.)

Well rejoice, my fellow arteriosclerotics-in-training, the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger is coming to the Kentucky State Fair. According to Cailley Hammel at Bluegrass Moms, the creation was tried out at the Wisconsin State Fair, where a donut was cleaved lengthwise like a bagel to form the two buns for the meat. However, at Kentucky's fair, they're reportedly using an entire donut for each of the buns. Crazy, man, crazy. But I am so there.

Predictably, the media attention about the donutburger is leaning heavily on scare-tactic health warnings, as if eating a donutburger all at once is somehow much worse than eating a donut for breakfast and a burger for lunch. They did they same thing when KFC announced its Double Down Bacon Sandwich that used slabs of fried chicken instead of buns, and I don't think anyone ended up going to the emergency room over it.

Instead of counting calories or fat grams, I urge you to watch your intake of trans-fats/hydrogenated oils instead, because that's what'll kill you. (and Krispy Kreme donuts, before you ask, dear reader, are virtually trans-fat free!)

2009 State Fair Attractions

The Kentucky State Fair opens August 20! Time once again for carny games, funnel cake, Freddy Farm Bureau, funnel cake, 4-H exhibits, funnel cake, the inflatable cone, funnel cake, rides, funnel cake, watching chicks hatch, funnel cake, free ham samples, funnel cake, pig races, and of course, my personal favorite: funnel cake.


A couple of oddball attractions new to the fair this year:

Michelle "Statue Viva" Harrell - a performance artist who looks like a statue and stands motionless, then abruptly moves and freaks people out when they least suspect it.

Timber Tina's World Champion Lumberjills - Female timber sports competitors demonstrate log rolling, cross-cut sawing, ax throwing and chain-saw carving in the South Wing parking lot. Yee-haw.

The Kentucky State Fair

All states in America have their own annual State Fair - at least I assume they do - and I've been underwhelmed by the few of them I've visited. The very notion of the "State Fair" seems to be something fading into the past for many regions, either devolving into a mere modern carnival-ride event or degenerating into apathy.

Not so with Kentucky. The old-school rural charm of a real State Fair is still here, with 4-H awards, vast displays of corn and hay for absolutely no reason but for the sake of looking at corn and hay, sheep-shearing, goat-shaving, cow-polishing, and pig racing. (Yes, we said pig racing. Once you see it for yourself, you'll never care about the Kentucky Derby quite as much again.)

The immense seated (and talking) statue of Freddy Farm Bureau is dragged out to the fair every year to entertain the masses in much the same way that Muffler Man "Big Tex" addresses the crowds at the Texas State Fair.

An art exhibit is held at the fair every year, in which anyone in Kentucky is welcome to hang their own artwork, from toddlers to grandmas. And they do. No one I know has been able to take in the entire exhibit at once, including myself. For the first couple aisles of it, you're simply chuckling to yourself about the amateurish art, but then you gradually start to see the sheer raw genius in much of it and develop a dizzying sense of newfound respect for all humanity. But then it all becomes too much and you find yourself feeling fevered from the sensory overload of naive art. Crude drawings of fighter planes and pro wrestlers rendered on lined notebook paper in ball-point pen. Extremely labored and ill-conceived paintings of
angels, Biblical figures, cartoon characters, elves, puppies and babies. The horror. The horror. And yet, who can say it isn't beautiful?

Even wackier is the "Critters" display of the produce exhibit, in which people are encouraged to look for weirdly shaped and anthropomorphic vegetables, and show 'em off. (Sometimes considerable artistic license is taken, and faces are simply painted right onto a tomato.)

To truly know Kentucky, you simply have to attend its State Fair. I can't recommend it highly enough to everyone reading these words. Rodgers and Hammerstein it ain't.

The Inflatable Cone

This portable ice cream stand sets up for business every year at the Kentucky State Fair. The cone part is a metal building with an inflated ice cream balloon that twists in the wind.