"Drop the Tunug!"

NUFORC's first UFO report of 2009 comes from Campbellsville, KY, and boy, lemme tell you, it's a humdinger. It's a convoluted and long story, told one stilted sentence at a time, with most sentences separately paragraphed. Here's an excerpt:

I remember the green lights were the color of a green LED such as that you would find on a computer monitor.

I remember I saw one BRIGHT light.

I remember a voice calling saying, "Drop the tunug." It was a robotic voice. I remember calling out, "I do not have anything in my hand." The voice said again, "DROP THE TUNUG."I started running. I remember praying in my head, "LORD, I am not doing ANYTHING wrong.. PLEASE save me. I will always serve you no matter what, so PLEASE help me." I remember this horrible pain going through my legs, and I fell to the ground.

I heard a clicking noise.

I remember someone walking up to me. They put handcuffs on me. I was told to get up, and not to move, or I would be shot with a taser.

I know a LOT about tasers. I remember that I was taken to a building.

It was a building, that i had never seen before.

When I got in, I heard the building making a low pitched humming noise, and there were several machines with lines, and other thangs going across their screen.

I was told to sit down.

I sat down in a little chair which had several buttons and cranks on it.

I saw a red button that said, "For emergencies only." I remember I was told to sit and be quiet or I would be tased again.

I complied.

I was hooked up to a pulse oximeter, which monitored my oxygen levels, and a mask was put on my face.

I remember them saying my oxygen was VERY low.

I was taken to a little room, and was hooked up to an EKG machine which beeped to my heartrate.

I was then told to put my face up against this machine.

I remember my Mom had told me before NEVER to look into something unless I knew what it was.

Of the report, NUFORC states: "This report is an obvious hoax. However, we post it here, in order to illustrate to those who visit our site the type of stupidity our Center often has to put up with. Fittingly, we feel, the source of the hoax prefers to remain anonymous."

Now, you know and I know this story is 99.999999999 likely to be nonsense, and yet I have to say that there really is a truism in covert operations of any kind: if you're up to any top-secret CIA-type skullduggery, all you have to do to make sure no one believes it happened is to make the circumstances really stupid sounding.

As Jack Ruby once purportedly said: "You know why these CIA guys do so much stuff that don't make no sense? 'Cause when you try to tell somebody else about it, you don't make no sense neither."

Do I think for a moment that there's a chance that this is what happened here? Well, no, not really. But it does make me think that when the next team of DARPA/NSA spyboys decide to do some bogus-UFO-related psychological experiments on humans, they'll dress in goofy rubber alien suits and tell their victims to "Drop the Tunug!"

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

NUFORC UFO Roundup

It's been a while since I've checked out NUFORC's files of submitted UFO reports in Kentucky. Here's the latest ones they list:

7/14/2008: Fern Creek, KY. "VERY SMALL OBJECT , MOVING VERY RAPIDLY, AT VERY EXTREME ALTITUDE. THE OBJECT APPEARED TO BE FLYING VERY VERY HIGH AND AT A VERY VERY HIGH RATE OF SPEED.IT MADE NO SUDDEN ZIGS OR ZAGS, IT ONLY FLEW FORWARD, AND WITHOUT SOUND . I'VE SEE MANY PLANES FLYING AT VERY HIGH RANGES BUT NEVER AT THAT KIND OF SPEED!!!! TO THE NAKED EYE THE OBJECT WAS ABOUT THE SIZE OF A PIN HEAD. I DONT BELIEVE IT WAS A METEOR OR MODERN AIRCRAFT."

7/27/2008 : Florence, KY. "I left my boyfriends house in Hebron KY around 1:15am. I was headed south to my home in Crittenden KY. I noticed a large, bright orange light (about a half mile in front of me) in the sky along south-bound I-75 around the Dream Street area. As I got closer I noticed that the light was on the front of what appeared to be a triangular shaped object. It did not appear to be moving. My best GUESStimate was that it was about 50-75 feet in the air. As I drove underneath the object I saw two green lights and one red light, all of which were blinking as opposed to the one in front (the orange one) which was not blinking. I could not tell if the three blinking lights were on the bottom or the side of the object due to the fact that I was passing under it at around 60mph."

7/28/2008 : Mount Sterling, KY. "My children and I watched as blinking lights (red, white, green, and blue on some) moved across the sky at different directions. Then there were several more that even met up and went almost in circles before disappearing. Lastly, we even saw one meet another, then both go in the same direction with one following the other. They were definitely not plane, or helicopters due to the amount of them, lack of noise, and the strange flight behavior. It lasted roughly 30 minutes, and I would've watched longer, but I was getting tired. I wanted to film it, but my small video camera would not have captured it very well due to the dark night and they were pretty high up in the air. Some were barely able to be seen if not for the blinking of the lights. It was amazing and I wish someone else would believe us!"

8/8/2008 : Murray, KY. "Oval object shoots across the sky and explodes in bright flash. My step-brother, his friend, and I were walking down the road. The event occurred between 1:30 to 1:45. First we were just walking we were about 200 yards away from the house. And we all saw a flash of light and, then there was an oval shaped object that shot across the sky with a hissing noise. It left a bright trail that remained even after it was gone. But after it shot across the sky it had seemed to explode in a sudden silent flash."

8/9/2008 : "Two small orbs seen hovering over Dawson Springs, KY at a great distance. The objects were too far up to describe in much detail. There was one object that appeared to emit light or simply reflected sunlight. The other object appeared only for a few seconds and simply appeared as a dark spot. The lighted object moved only a small distance then stopped, moved back and then stopped and did this about 4 times before disappearing. I have taken photos of the objects as well."

(Photo above: UFO spotted over Louisville in 1973.)

UFO over Clays Ferry, 2005

A report filed with NUFORC:

Occurred : 4/25/2005 20:00 (Entered as : 04/25/1905 20:00)
Reported: 4/26/2005 12:52:21 PM 12:52
Posted: 5/11/2005
Location: Lexington, KY
Shape: Disk
Duration:20 minutes

Disk-shaped object hovering up in the sky and traveling slowly for about 20 minutes with a brief flash of light coming out of it.

"I was traveling down I-75 last night coming back to Lexington, Kentucky from Richmond, Kentucky where I attend graduate school classes.

It was directly in my line of sight right before the curve towards the Clays Ferry Exit. The sky had a few clouds but it was mostly clear. I saw it straight ahead and I saw a flash of light come from the other side and traveled halfway around the object and stopped. It did not flash all the way around the object. It only flashed once. It was a disk- shaped object that was a dark color like a dark grey or brown, not quite black.

The interstate wound around and the object was no longer in front of me but it was traveling along to my right. I was straining my eyes to see legs to a water tower, or helicoptor propellers, or wings to an airplane, but there was none of that. It was not a water tower because for one thing, I found out that it was moving and there was nothing sticking out of the object like wings or propellers. It was definitely going too slow to be an airplane.

The only other thing I could think of would be a blimp of some kind but it didn't have any kind of writing or basket and I don't know if those have lights. Also, it was 8:00pm on a Monday night and no events going on that would require a blimp that I know of and it simply did not look like a blimp. However, I am trying to justify this because it goes against everything I believe in or ever thought possible.

This thing was traveling in my line of sight for about 20 minutes. When i got off on the Man-o-War exit I turned the wrong way so that i could follow it and take a clear picture with my camera phone. By the time I could stop it was too far away to see it in the picture. My camera phone is not very clear at all, anyway. It just kept traveling away from me and I gave up and turned back around and went home.

I am just a Nutrition grad school student and I do not have any expertise in the aircraft area. All I know is what I saw. Can someone please tell me what this thing might have been? I need some peace of mind."